Inspiration: One day, whilst wandering down a rabbit hole of tangentially related shows on my cable box’s menu screen, I stumbled upon Alton Brown’s show Good Eats — not the original version but The Return.

And I’m hooked!

His blend of history, skits, culinary hints-tips-& tricks, and very clear recipe walk-thrus made me an instant fan.

Now, while binge-watching Good Eats The Return, our host featured a low-ABV beverage my husband and I found fascinating — A Clarified Milk Punch. (Don’t know what low ABV is? click here to find out.) Generally speaking, neither of us are fond of mixing alcohol with moo-juice. However, we figured if Charles Dickens enjoyed the beverage — we might as well.

At this point, after watching ‘Holiday Spirits’ again and locating the written recipe on Alton Brown’s website, we had a good-ish handle on the process of making this fortified punch.

Now I say process, because one of the key ingredients is an Allspice Dram, which, unless you’ve got the address of one heck of an eclectic liquor store in your hip pocket, you’ll need to make it yourself. But don’t fret. It’s a straightforward recipe but takes ten days to steep properly.

After we finished creating the dram and swearing a bit, plus some spillage, we managed to produce a punch that looked exactly like the one Mr. Brown made!

And it’s delicious!

Helpful hint: In Alton Brown’s demonstration, he’s got a colossal sized sieve, industrial-sized coffee filters, and a large container to strain the milk punch through.

We didn’t have any of those things.

So we came up with a workaround, which calls for two regular-sized metal sieves, several standard coffee filters, and a canning funnel. And set it up like the picture below.

Now here’s the trick, you only pour a potion of the curdled mixture into the sieve at a time — careful not to fill the sieve above either the line of the coffee filter or the edge of the canning funnel. Otherwise, you’ll end up with the unfiltered liquid on your counter or small bits of milk stuff in the punch mixture.

Ask me how I know.

After the first small bit filters through, you top up your contraption again, again, and again until all you’re left with is a clear cranberry-colored liquid!

Learn From My Mistake: This will take some time as the filter grows slower and slower with each pour. However, unless you’ve got another two sieves sitting around, don’t give in to temptation and change out the coffee filters. Inevitably you’ll get a bit of milk stuff into your perfectly clear punch, which will force you through the whole process again!

Christie: I can see the Grande Dame herself enjoying this punch during the festive season! I think even Poirot and Miss Maprle would appreciate a small sip of this low-ABV drink if it appeared on a drinks table!

The finished product is so very lovely!